FINALLY A POST...(TOTALLY UNRELATED TO PREVIOUS)

Greetings!
".....the next category in the Oscars is....shit blogging....and the nominations are....1.KK for God-knows-what-shit-he-writes.....and...." (awkward pause) " ......the award goes to KK ....".
I am a self confessed shit blogger or "shlogger".I am posting after 14 months.
Anyways I got into a club or "forum" called the public speaking forum.I happened to go unprepared for the inaugral session and as Lady luck and I werent on good terms(we never have been ,but thats a different issue) I was called on to speak first..yes FIRST and was told to speak about myself.I had half a mind to politely refuse and hand the mike to someone else.But no!!!
You know that feeling when you are chased by dogs down an alley and end up in a dead end ,with nowhere to go......I had the same except with dinosaurs.Boy!What rot did i talk!I was first confronted by the all important question of how to introduce myself...with or without my initial???(True story)When i did get on ....I was amazingly surprised about how little I knew myself.I dont know if I spoke complete sentences but all i could remember was odd bubbles popping in my head with the words "football" "books"....and then i apologised to the good people for my unpreparedness.
But when i did get off the stage and hear some of them speaking i felt really grateful that i atleast uttered words that made sense.I laughed to death when i heard some of them introduce themselves."Myself so and so"...hahaha....70% of them did that.It sounded downright narcissist!!!and nearly 60% said that they were "fun loving person who love to make friends"......cool the rest of us run away from "fun" like fire.One girl(a senior in fact) had written everything about herself on a piece of paper but when she wasnt allowed to look at it...she went blank....God!!!! and I thought I was bad....
We had to speak for 2 mins atleast and had to stop before 3mins.A girl finsihed in 30 seconds!!!(True story)And then Mr.Pant made her stand there till 2 mins were up.This girl was hardly audible and we couldn't make out if she was talking about herself or cursing us under her breath.
She was shaking her head continuously though!And when it stopped it was cue for us to clap(or atleast i thought so!)...I started clapping but soon realised she had said something important and paused for the effect to sink in.Imagine what kind of an ass i looked like with the whole hall looking at me.
Another friend of mine came to the dias and just read a sloka and started walking and had to be called and told that even the Almighty's intervention wouldn't help him to avoid the 3 mins on stage.There was this girl then,who used about 25 " actually"s in her speech.What she "actually" wanted to say ...nobody could "actually" fathom.
Besides these it was largely formal i.e. people giving out their bio datas and their life histories( YAWN!!).Since my turn was over in the beginning i got all fidgety and couldn't control my laughter on more than one occasion.
Worth mentioning was when one guy refused to write down his email id as he feared people might misuse it in someway and that he had plans to enter politics in the future.God dunno how that is even related....Maybe he doesn't know to create another one!!!!!
I would like to think i did justice to this post by writing something...but thats shlogging for you...its random stuff (wanted to go out in style...)...Anyways in the highly unlikely event that there is another post ....this highly unlikely event will depend on an even "unliklier" event something eventful happening here in the middle of nowhere.....
P.S:Have to prepare a speech on global warming for the next session.